I couldn't be happier to be carrying this new little miracle...my baby boy...
But at the same time, I am having to let go of a dream that I have been carrying since I was a little girl...
I guess I always assumed that one day I would be buying dresses with frills and ballet slippers...that I would be tying up hair with little pink bows and telling stories of princesses...but that day will never come...
As soon as a mother finds out she is pregnant, she is already in love...she is already planning...she can already picture herself holding her baby...this new baby becomes apart of her...forever...
And so when this new mom finds out she is carrying a little girl...that little girl is painted into her life...she imagines a pink blanket lying on a chair...she can picture pink curtains hanging in the windows...she starts thinking of dresses and bows...
This is what I am having to let go of...When you have painted a little girl into your life, its not easy to erase...so today, though I am feeling truly blessed and excited and already madly in love with my little boy...I am having to let go of a dream...
No comments:
Post a Comment