It All Goes By So Fast

This hit home for me...There are moments in the day when I am tired - and overwhelmed - and have zero patience and counting the hours to bedtime...And I get so upset with myself that I should be enjoying every single moment because before we know it - it's gone...I see this so much - I look at my almost 13 yo and wonder where has time gone...The moments when they want to hug you just because - when they get so excited by seeing a squirrel or a butterfly - when they blow you kisses or serve you tea over and over again...But also the times when they are so upset because they wanted to pour their own milk - when they're screaming bloody murder because they don't want to sit in their car seat - or dangling from your leg crying when you are trying to make supper...All of these moments - will gone before you know it...So I feel pulled in both directions here - having older kids and the minis - I am living both - so it's ok to hide in the closet and scream and cry - and to even want to get in the car and drive away...But - I also truly understand how fast it really does go by and how one day you will even be missing the carseat buckling tantrums...

I was in a public parking lot, trying to get my starving, exhausted, tantrum-throwing kids into the car when a little old lady tottered up to me and said, “Enjoy it while they’re little! It goes by so fast!”

I looked up at her as I was karate chopping my son’s stiff-as-a-board body into his car seat and gave her a smile. A smile that said, “I want to strangle you.”

I wanted to strangle her because it’s true. It does go by so fast. And I know I should be enjoying every minute of it. BUT I CAN’T!

I can’t because raising young kids isn’t always enjoyable. Sometimes it is—there are precious moments of absolute parental bliss. Moments when my son places a chubby hand over my larger, dishwash-weary hand and asks me to play with him. Moments when my daughter blows me a kiss that I catch and tuck into my heart under my shirt. Moments when the three of us snuggle head-to-head-to-head reading a book.

But a lot of the time having young kids sucks. It’s relentless and boring and exhausting and infuriating. And the fact that I’m not loving every tantrum-filled, pooped-smeared, yogurt-coated, sleep-deprived moment makes me panic. Because it’s going by so fast.

The days of my children’s childhoods are slipping through my hands faster than E. coli-infested sand and I know I’m not enjoying it enough, lady in the parking lot, so please don’t remind me.

When I creep into my kids’ rooms at night and watch them sleep, my heart fills with love and peace … and regret. Regret that we didn’t all enjoy the day that just ended more.

I know one day the pain of it all will fade and I’ll look back with a rosy tinge and think to myself, “I really enjoyed when my kids were little. It all went by so fast.”

But the one thing I promise to never do, is stop a young mom in a parking lot and tell her to enjoy it. Tell her it all goes so fast.

Instead I’ll tell her that I know raising young kids is hard. I’ll tell her it’s OK to cry. It’s OK to scream. It’s OK to fall to pieces at 5pm when the kids are pushing her every last button. I’ll tell her to breathe. I’ll tell her to hide in the bathroom if she needs to. I’ll tell her to laugh at the insanity that is her life. And I’ll tell her to kiss her baby’s toes, not because they won’t be little forever, but because it will bring her a moment of joy in her otherwise insane, chaotic day.