A few weeks ago, we received unexpected news...We were expecting once again...
Shocked at first...not expecting it to happen again....But this quickly turned into pure excitement - to be blessed once again...
My heart was happy - getting to carry yet another little miracle - the thought of feeling this little one inside me - the joy of welcoming a new baby into our family...
And I fell in love...
But along with this joy, this excitement, this love...
Also came fear...overwhelming fear...at the thought of loosing once again...
So for a few weeks - I allowed myself to be happy - I allowed myself to be excited...
But one day...all that changed...a strange feeling inside my heart....all of a sudden...and at that moment...I knew it was over...
You know the moment it happens...I have with all of my losses...You try to convince yourself that you are wrong - that it is just the overwhelming fear of loosing...that everything is ok...But in your heart...you know it isin't...
December 5th, 2011...after carrying her for only 9 weeks...our little one was born with angel wings....
I am sad...my heart hurts...
I had already pictured her in our life...Had already imagined a new chair at our table...Had pictured summer birthday parties...Had rearranged rooms in my mind...Had thought of double strollers and the joy of having two little ones so close together...From the moment I found out I was pregnant...She became a part of our family...
And now I find myslef having to let go...Let go once again...
Watch over us baby girl...Watch over us River-Rose...
Mommy loves you xox
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